The Inner Adventure

Previous experience: Loads of alcohol & cannabis The very first time I took HBWR seeds, I wanted to avoid the nausea. I didn't eat for 6-7 hours. I removed the light-brownish husks with nails and a knife. I chew 4 seeds for 15 minutes and then I spitted everything out. It didn't work so well. In one particular moment I felt like I was totally numb and later on I felt like I was going to fell asleep. I also smoked some hashis because I didn't really believe the seeds we're working. And while I was doing this I drank couple of beers. I usually drink & smoke alot, but this time I was so tired after all this shit I just wanted to get some sleep. I can't truly tell if I was intoxicated by the seeds or not. The next morning, I prepared for the nausea. First I removed once again carefully the light-brownish husks from the seeds. Then I ground up 6 seeds in 3 different cups, each holding 2 seeds. I boiled some mineral water, let it cool down to 60 celsius and added that into every cup. I waited for 2-3 hours for the mixtures to cool down into room temperature. I also didn't eat anything for 4 hours. Just 10 minutes before I started to ingest the actual mixture, I ate a teaspoonfull of ginger. Some people claim it helps avoiding the nausea. The taste of ginger is not so pleasant. It burns all the way down your throat and into your stomach. After the "ginger hell" I drank 2 cups of my mixture, so I had ingested total of 4 seeds. After 15-20 minutes, I started to feel light-headed. I had to resist the vomiting. Ginger was still burning and the seeds really did make me wanna throw up. I knew I had to. Still, I resisted. It was quite difficult to relax or to walk, I felt like I was a bit drunk and I wanted to vomit. I decided to wait for 60 minutes, and then I would throw up if I had to. Right after this I realized, I could control my feelings quite well. I could sing along with some piece of music and forget the urge for vomiting. I believed I could control these kind of feelings, I believed it was all in my head. I carefully chose good songs to make me feel better. And it did. I also did some things I really like, playing guitar, singing & such. All these things made me feel even better. Then suddenly, I remembered last night, and I recalled I had feelings quite like this, and I enjoyed it. The only downside, besides the urge for vomiting, was the feeling of drowsyness... I even made some coffee just to keep me awake. Then I wanted to drink the last cup of 2 seeds mixture I made earlier. I drank it and went to see my friend. I still felt like I was only a bit drunk. When I reached my friends residence, we watched a video and smoked some cannabis. I told my friend what I had done and he didn't seem to care, I felt like I had no-one to tell this. Then, from out of nowhere, appeared a new world in front of me. I started to realize things from a totally new perspective. I knew I had to leave immediately. The information that kept coming from things I did there was too much. I told my friend I couldn't concentrate for what we we're doing because I was somewhere else, doing something else. And then I left. When I was walking back home, I saw a group of people who were sitting in a bar nearby. They all arose and left the bar as soon as I walked by. At first, I thought to myself, am I that horrible? Then I realized they split up because they were going somewhere else. It was the relief of my life. And as I continued walking back home, I saw some elderly people as well, they looked at me and I swear, I knew exactly what they were thinking. So I reacted differently, and I saw how it affected them. I believed I could control this situation. It was all just a matter of understanding gestures. And those gestures had always been there for me. But only now, I could understand those gestures so well that I could control the situation. I was quite polite and I enjoyed it. And it made me feel good too. When I got back home, I saw my entire life like a book. It was all there. I just never realized it, because it didn't have any meaning. By looking any object I own, I saw where it had come from, why it was there, why I liked it and why I chose to keep it. I remembered all the things it had been through, where was it made, who had played with it and so on... In your everyday life, you pass by many things you have gathered throughout your years of existence like it didn't mean anything to you. Well it does. You just never stop there to see and understand the meaning of it all. But this time I could see. I was so overwhelmingly happy of all the objects I had received from thousands of different sources it made me smile. It made me cherish life itself. Then I got an another idea. I wanted to record a video of myself thinking these kinds of things. In case I would forget how happy I was. It was a difficult task. I had to remind myself of what I was doing for every 5 seconds. I just saw the camera and I remembered every little recording the camera had ever recorded and every little detail of the camera made me remember where it was damaged and so on... When I finally managed to assemble it, I started recording. It was impossible to speak those things which were inside my head. It was all too much. When I opened my mouth and said something, my mouth froze and I was left speechless, dreaming. Every sentence I started, ended prematurely as my mind drifted away with the memories I encountered everywhere I gazed upon. This is when I decided not to record anymore. I went to my bed to lie down and enjoy. I have no idea how long I was there, since time had no meaning at all. Or atleast, I didn't care. The rest of my trip I embraced life and tried to focus my thoughts to gain understanding of life. And I did understand. The trip was over in about 6 hours or so, and I started to feel the after effects. I called my friend to come see me and apologized why I was so rude earlier. He said he understanded why I did it, and I understanded it too. We smoked some pot, watched some videos and had a great time. Afterwards we just fell asleep. Conclusion: At the first time, I didn't take enough seeds and my technique was totally incorrect. The next time I drank the seed mixtures I was successful and had just the right amount. I had some slight visuals too, not worth mentioning though. The inner adventure I had was so much more. If you are going to eat these seeds, take a couple, wait an hour, take a couple more, wait another hour, and so on. This is not something to play with, it is something to consider first and then taking. I still feel happy about my journey, and I believe my journey was successful because my timing was right. My life was so perfect at the time it reflected my trip very pleasantly. I can imagine what will happen if you take these seeds without caution, and you are in the midst of your life's misery. Also I would like to point out the side-effects I had, the terrible nausea at first and the hangover which included "foggy" mind, thirst and numb legs. Still, it was the price to pay and I will certainly do this again.