Water pipes & bongs
by Hemper
The Chinese Takeout Bong is a novelty borosilicate glass water pipe from Hemper, shaped like a classic takeout box complete with a chopstick mouthpiece. Available in 6-inch and 9-inch sizes, it filters smoke through water for a cooler draw while doubling as the most ridiculous conversation starter on your coffee table. If your glass collection is looking a bit serious, this is the antidote.
| Variant | Height | SKU | Best for |
|---|---|---|---|
| Small | 6 inches (approx. 15 cm) | HS2454 | Portable sessions, shelf display, travel bag |
| Large | 9 inches (approx. 23 cm) | HS2455 | Home use, bigger water chamber, smoother hits |
The 6-inch version tucks into a bag without fuss and sits discreetly on a shelf. The 9-inch gives you a larger water chamber, which means more cooling and filtration before the smoke reaches you. If you only smoke at home, we'd pick the 9-inch every time — the extra 3 inches of water volume makes a noticeable difference to how smooth each pull feels. If you want something you can chuck in a backpack for a mate's place, the 6-inch is the one.
| Spec | Value |
|---|---|
| Brand | Hemper |
| Material | Borosilicate glass |
| Available sizes | 6 inches / 9 inches |
| Mouthpiece style | Chopstick-shaped tube |
| Joint type | Standard removable downstem with bowl |
| Filtration | Water diffusion |
| Design | Takeout box with printed graphics |
| SKU (6") | HS2454 |
| SKU (9") | HS2455 |
Complete your setup with a proper grinder and some pipe screens. A 4-piece herb grinder gives you an even, consistent grind that packs better in the bowl and burns more evenly. And if you're taking the 6-inch version on the road, a padded smell-proof bag keeps it safe and discreet between sessions.
We've sold a lot of bongs over the years. Beakers, straight tubes, recyclers, percolator rigs that look like chemistry equipment — they all do the job. But none of them have ever made someone walk into a room and immediately say "what on earth is that?" the way a takeout box sitting on the table does. That's the point of the Chinese Takeout Bong. It works as a proper water pipe, but it also works as an object that makes people laugh, ask questions, and want to try it.
The glass itself is borosilicate — the same heat-resistant material used in lab equipment and the more expensive bongs on the market. It handles thermal shock far better than standard soda-lime glass, so you're not going to crack it by running hot water through it during cleaning. The chopstick mouthpiece is genuinely clever: it's a narrow tube that rises from the top of the takeout box, and you draw from it exactly like you'd sip from a straw. The narrow diameter means the smoke cools a bit more on its way up, which is a nice bonus you wouldn't expect from a novelty piece.
The honest limitation? It's a conversation piece first, a daily driver second. The water chamber on the 6-inch model is compact — you'll get decent filtration, but it's not going to rival a 14-inch beaker bong with a tree perc. The 9-inch model fares better here, with roughly 40-50% more water volume. If you want the smoothest possible hits and you're not fussed about portability, the larger size is the smarter buy. According to research published in PMC, water filtration in pipes does cool smoke and can alter the delivery of certain compounds during inhalation (Cobb et al., 2014). That said, water filtration doesn't eliminate all irritants — it reduces temperature and catches some particulates, but it's not a health device. Treat it as what it is: a fun, functional bong.
We've had the Chinese Takeout Bong on the shelf since Hemper released it, and it's one of those products that sells itself. People pick it up, turn it around in their hands, and grin. The glass has a satisfying weight to it — the 6-inch version feels solid in the palm without being heavy, and the 9-inch has a good low centre of gravity that keeps it stable on a table. The printed takeout box graphics are baked into the glass, not a sticker, so they don't peel or fade with cleaning. One thing to watch: the chopstick mouthpiece is the thinnest part of the piece. It's not fragile, but it's the first thing that'll break if you knock it off a table onto a hard floor. Keep it somewhere stable when it's not in your hand.
Compared to something like a classic Hemper beaker bong at the same price point, you're trading raw filtration performance for personality. The beaker will give you bigger, smoother rips. The Chinese Takeout Bong will make your mates ask where you got it. Both are valid reasons to buy a bong — just depends on what you're after.
Borosilicate glass — the same type used in laboratory glassware. It's heat-resistant, durable, and far sturdier than the cheap soda-lime glass you find in bargain-bin bongs. You can feel the difference in weight the moment you pick it up.
Yes, the 6-inch version at roughly 15 cm tall fits easily in a backpack or bag. Wrap it in a cloth or use a padded case to protect the chopstick mouthpiece during transport. It's one of the better portable novelty bongs we carry.
Pour out the water after each session. For regular cleaning, rinse with warm water. For a proper deep clean, fill it with isopropyl alcohol (90% or higher) and a tablespoon of coarse salt, shake gently for 30-60 seconds, then rinse thoroughly with warm water. The printed graphics won't come off during cleaning.
Water filtration cools the smoke and catches some heavier particulates before they reach your lungs. According to research published in PMC, waterpipe smoke delivery can be tested under controlled conditions and does alter the composition of inhaled smoke compared to unfiltered methods (Cobb et al., 2014). It's smoother on the throat, but it doesn't make smoking risk-free.
It comes with a standard glass bowl and removable downstem. The joint size fits standard replacement bowls, so you can swap in a different bowl piece if you prefer a larger or smaller one.
Surprisingly, yes. The narrow tube diameter actually concentrates the draw nicely, and because it's glass, it stays cool to the touch. It feels a bit like drinking through a wide straw. Just don't bite down on it — it's glass, not an actual chopstick.
Every session. Stale bong water tastes foul and starts growing bacteria within 24 hours. Fresh water every time takes 10 seconds and makes a massive difference to flavour and hygiene. There's no good reason to skip it.
Last updated: April 2026
